Pun And Joke Lover Gifts

'Wait, Jethro! In the hanky directions for use it reads, FIRST clean your specs, THEN clean your nose!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Literate Dogs.

Hotness

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

The static electric eel is very rare.

Larry's Literary Market.

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."

Hairy Potter.

I'm starting to think you keep working on that thing just to avoid talking to me.

Shakespeare originally wrote "Romeo and Juliet" as a comedy.

Pavement artist.

'It's as I feared: you have got a novel in you.'

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."