Pun Humor Pillows

'Cheetah!'

'I didn't realize you were literally going to wear a little black number!'

"Late, as usual."

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

'I download music from a radio station in South Korea, and I got Seoul music.'

'It's called 'going to the principal's office', not 'walking the last mile'.'

Before the wheel.

'I think my back is baroque!'

'I'm overlooking the pool now.'

'Hold this til Tues and I'll pay you back, squid pro quo.'

SALT- The horror movie

"Sure, I'll do the eye exam, but I should warn you that I have a tendency to read between the lines. . ."

Zombie standup

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"You're such a good listener."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"That's it. We’re toast."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

Backfire

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.