Pun Humor Pillows

'Cheetah!'

'I didn't realize you were literally going to wear a little black number!'

"Late, as usual."

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

'I download music from a radio station in South Korea, and I got Seoul music.'

'It's called 'going to the principal's office', not 'walking the last mile'.'

Before the wheel.

'I think my back is baroque!'

'I'm overlooking the pool now.'

'Hold this til Tues and I'll pay you back, squid pro quo.'

SALT- The horror movie

"Sure, I'll do the eye exam, but I should warn you that I have a tendency to read between the lines. . ."

Zombie standup

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Backfire

"That's it. We’re toast."

"You're such a good listener."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

Wok. Don't Wok.