Fun With Puns Pillows

'I'm from Australia, the land of hopportunity!'

HisssssHerssss....

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

Ms. Rusmore

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

"The moment he told me he lived in a lighthouse, I knew he was a keeper."

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

'And in conclusion...'

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

"He has extremely advanced motor skills."

Artichoking victim

"Unplug and chill out."

"This must be for charging bigger vehicles."

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

Museum of Mediocre Art.

The static electric eel is very rare.

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

Weather forecast

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'You give me goose bumps!'