Puns Enthusiast Gifts

"Well, what are you waiting for? Put the petal to the metal!"

Pontius Pilates

"Every night it's Roll Play with you."

Catfish.

Foreplay was at the back of his mind. Way at the back.

Hell for bad doctors.

'Son,you're beginning to get on my wick.'

'Naturally, he feels humiliated. Twenty-five years of teaching math and he takes a pi to the face.'

"I see you ladies are admiring the Tuscan Blue."

Lay Preacher

"You tend to clam up, Wally, you need to come out of your shell!"

"Two legs and a shoulder please."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Talk nerdy to me."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

baby sweetcorn...

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'