Punny Painter Gifts

Happy Hog - Manet

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

'I'm in my Blue period.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"Well yes, I'm kind of a farmer now: I farm salmon..."

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

Jackson Pollock as a child

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

"Tee hee. . . Turner Prize here I come. . .!"

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'

Easter Egg Painting.

'Don't say anything dad, let the cartoonist do a punchline.'

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

"Waiter! - will my pizza be long?"

Man Painting Road.

"Honey, I just got 't-boned' off I-80 West of Omaha!"

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

Blake's Sealant.

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

'I played around with acrylics for about a minute, but now I work exclusively with food.'

'You have to do that chair again. You got the paint on upside down.'

I like when they leave something to the imagination.

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up this office, and you'll pay the price.'

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

Dairy. You're called "ruminants" because you chew your cud --- It's not an excuse to overthink everything.

'Do you like Indian food?' 'I have my reservations!'

Prison Art - Bent Screw