Business Punster Gifts

'Yes, that will work as an elevator pitch...if your potential client works in a skyscraper...'

'The days here are six months long... you'll love the daytrading.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'If this keeps up, we'll soon be a splinter organization.'

"We'll pay for your move, we'll give you a bonus...in short, we'll do anything for a buck."

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

I think you're ace

'Jurassic Pork.'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

I like you and I like your company!

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Is that your answer to everything? 'Chase the dot?'"

"I've got an MBA. Massive Business Anxiety."

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

The Contrarian funds

To the grim reaper: 'You may go in now.'

Mergers or acquisitions.

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

Ask Mister Buck: Financial Expert. "Dear Mister Buck, Is it true that 'money talks'?" Yes, and it drowns out everything else!

'I know you're new to upper management, Hoskins, but here we don't catnap...we power nap.'

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"We're a pharmaceutical company. We should be getting 'pharm' subsidies."

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

"After careful deliberation, I've decided I can no longer represent you as your lawyer in this case."

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'