Business Punster Pillows

'Yes, that will work as an elevator pitch...if your potential client works in a skyscraper...'

'The days here are six months long... you'll love the daytrading.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'If this keeps up, we'll soon be a splinter organization.'

"We'll pay for your move, we'll give you a bonus...in short, we'll do anything for a buck."

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

I think you're ace

'Jurassic Pork.'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

I like you and I like your company!

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Is that your answer to everything? 'Chase the dot?'"

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"I've got an MBA. Massive Business Anxiety."

The Contrarian funds

To the grim reaper: 'You may go in now.'

Mergers or acquisitions.

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

'I know you're new to upper management, Hoskins, but here we don't catnap...we power nap.'

"We're a pharmaceutical company. We should be getting 'pharm' subsidies."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'