Economic Punster Pillows

"We're a pharmaceutical company. We should be getting 'pharm' subsidies."

British savings accounts

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

'The days here are six months long... you'll love the daytrading.'

The Contrarian funds

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Bitter End

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

Statue of Liberty: Out of Service

"Read me the one about Ali Obama and the Forty Community Organizers."

Math Jokes

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

'Give it to me straight, Doc - just how long-term should my long-term investments be?'

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

'I think therefore I ham.'

I wonder who's Kissinger now?

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

"I feel that I've been given a unique opportunity to speak out on the issues."

"You've placed me in a difficult position here, Malcolm."

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'This is what I mean about inadequate interagency cooperation.'

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'

On - Undecided - Off switch