Psychological Punster Pillows

"Congratulations! You're my first patient who has succeeded in projecting hs schizophrenia onto the couch!"

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Dogs life

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

Note Book

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Psychologist Birthdays

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

Claude

'This is what I mean about inadequate interagency cooperation.'

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

"Can you give me some sort of metaphor for how you're feeling?"

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

'I think therefore I ham.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

'I can't remember why I came here either.'