Psychological Punster Gifts

"Congratulations! You're my first patient who has succeeded in projecting hs schizophrenia onto the couch!"

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Note Book

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

'I think therefore I ham.'

'This is what I mean about inadequate interagency cooperation.'

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

"Can you give me some sort of metaphor for how you're feeling?"

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

"Our flag means debt."

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

'I can't remember why I came here either.'