Philosophy Punster Gifts

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Mental Obesity Spread by Friends

"I regret believing in reincarnation."

'By a show of hands who knows the sound of one hand smelling?'

'I think therefore I ham.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

K9 Literati

Dogs life

'Out, damned Spot.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

Mystery of the Poets

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

2B or not 2B

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

Optometrist Humor

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

Bitter End

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

Psychologist Birthdays

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

'This is what I mean about inadequate interagency cooperation.'

"Norman is an island."

Lit. Exam. I carefully read "Ulysses," "Dubliners" and "Finnegans Wake," but I was kicked out by the teacher for calling the exam a "multiple-Joyce" test.