Politics Punster Gifts

Russia Russia Russia Never Mind Russia

"Our flag means debt."

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

'This is what I mean about inadequate interagency cooperation.'

'Disarmament? — I think it's worth taking a shot at.'

'If you insist on laughing please use the humour section.'

'Don't forget - they're friends, not allies.'

That's one hell of a birthmark you have there, son!

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'Just what we need -- a wise-ass Latina woman!'

'I was hoping for a permanent Government shutdown thst included schools.'

"I have in my hand a secret agreement in which my brother promises to take over doing my chores starting today. . ."

The North Koreans used lookalikes to confuse would be assassins

"In a surprise tactic, Trump told the truth today."

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

British savings accounts

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Politically Correct Snowperson

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

''The consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

"Read me the one about Ali Obama and the Forty Community Organizers."

Statue of Liberty: Out of Service

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.