Politics Punsters Gifts

Iran Nuke Treaty

British savings accounts

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Politically Correct Snowperson

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Tequila Mockingbird

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

Statue of Liberty: Out of Service

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

"Read me the one about Ali Obama and the Forty Community Organizers."

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

"You've placed me in a difficult position here, Malcolm."

My, my, we're justs a little overprotective of our propriety knowledge, aren't we?

Hamlet.

"I feel that I've been given a unique opportunity to speak out on the issues."

'This is what I mean about inadequate interagency cooperation.'

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

I wonder who's Kissinger now?

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

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Political Science