Political Punters Gifts

'Who leads Russia?'

British savings accounts

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

Trump returns home

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

Doves of peace trapped within the statue of liberty.

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

"I beg your pardon," said Alice, "but which of you is the Democrat?"

"I don't have any opinions, and my wife things whatever Oprah thinks,."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

Boomerang

"How could this happen?"

"Read me the one about Ali Obama and the Forty Community Organizers."

Rattache

Cake News: Britain Desserts EU

Russia had barely got started in Ukraine and "Gas War" against EU

The Latest Shooting...Looking for a Trend.

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

US bishops given contraception lifeline.

Statue of Liberty: Out of Service

Saigon 1975/Kabul 2021 - Deja Voodoo

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

"We're not a school. We're a political action committee!"

"You didn't see much of us last summer because we were busy studying for the mid terms!"

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'