Political Pun Enthusiasts Gifts

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

Credibility

I'm Peachy

Speakers Bureau. I can definitely get you the Senator from West Virginia, or tentatively, the President and the First Lady. I'll take the Senator - a Byrd in the hand is worth two Bushes.

Whosoever pulls this sword from the stone shalt become king. Sure, but it's a lot better than going through months of primaries and caucuses!

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for Sir Edmund Hillary.'

'Without my speech writer I'm worried I may say what I mean.'

Beware of dog.

'I'm guessing that's not a good sign...'

I lost my job as a political satirist because reality is funnier than I ever could be.

'My running mate never visits me!'

Fat Cat Crowns Obama.

"... Oh, that's just Theresa Mayfly. Here today, gone tomorrow."

"Blummin' troublemakers!"

"When you yelled 'hard left', I thought you were being political."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"All other letters have been disallowed."

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

"I beg your pardon," said Alice, "but which of you is the Democrat?"

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

Rattache

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

War of Words

"Bad news - the local sewage plant is made of reinforced autoclaved aerated concrete."

'The popularity polls love what you've done with the budget deficit....moving the decimal one point to the left.'

Cake News: Britain Desserts EU

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

"We're not a school. We're a political action committee!"

RIP: Here lies the last remains of civility and honesty in the political process.

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

"Implications of Reaganism."

"Your four-o'clock is here."