Uk Politics Punter Gifts

"We all float down here....Except for the pound, of course!"

British savings accounts

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

World Cup Fever

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

"God created Heaven and Earth in seven days but has failed us miserably with Brexit."

"Read me the one about Ali Obama and the Forty Community Organizers."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

Statue of Liberty: Out of Service

Voting in the UK

Brexit Calendar

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

"You've placed me in a difficult position here, Malcolm."

'This is what I mean about inadequate interagency cooperation.'

"I feel that I've been given a unique opportunity to speak out on the issues."

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

I wonder who's Kissinger now?

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

On - Undecided - Off switch

Political Science

Id10tic TENdencies

With my home genetic engineering kit, I've created massive, politically active vegetables. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. It was an accident, but something feels right. Introducing Meet the Produce. Next topic: Trump. Losing. Winning.

"Our flag means debt."

'Please listen carefully as my campaign promise menu has changed...'

'...In other news, archaeologists today dug up yet another Clinton scandal....'

Vote Centrist

"Look at this – New Jersey is legalizing catnip."

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

England's jester - United States' jester.