Political Correctness Punster Gifts

Politically Correct Snowperson

British savings accounts

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Sensitivity Reader's Digest

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

"I'm after the history section."

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

'Another thing?never use the term 'touchy-feely' as a negative.'

Safe spaces?

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

F1 - Quit Smoking.

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

'This firm is committed to diversity -- I have yes-men, si-men, ja-men, oui-men, da-men, hai-men....'

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

Politically Correct Greeting Cards: Totally Blank

Statue of Liberty: Out of Service

"Read me the one about Ali Obama and the Forty Community Organizers."

"Why 'Black Death'? Why not 'rodent-related'?"

Non discrimination to Vampires

He wouldn't be calling the kettle that again.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

This is where Brent council sends you

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

"I wouldn't call you crazy. But only because nobody uses that word anymore."

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

I wonder who's Kissinger now?

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."