Literary Punster Gifts

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'Out, damned Spot.'

'I only collect ghost-written books.'

'Blasphemous? Christ no!'

"You called me Ishmael!"

'uh oh...I'd better get out of this cookbook section...There he is again.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Lit. Exam. I carefully read "Ulysses," "Dubliners" and "Finnegans Wake," but I was kicked out by the teacher for calling the exam a "multiple-Joyce" test.

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

Chick stands in front of bookshelf marked 'chick lit'

'The frowsting bacchant kept his shelty vicinal.'

K9 Literati

2B or not 2B

"I'm looking for a book about turtles."

Headstone which reads 'Spoiler Alert'.

"Well, my new boyfriend likes to read. He's a bookie."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Jurassic Pork.'

Tequila Mockingbird

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"I have such strong feelers for you."

Mystery of the Poets

Note Book

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

Beauty and the Baste

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Optometrist Humor

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."