Literary Punster Gifts

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'Out, damned Spot.'

'I only collect ghost-written books.'

'Blasphemous? Christ no!'

"You called me Ishmael!"

'uh oh...I'd better get out of this cookbook section...There he is again.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

Chick stands in front of bookshelf marked 'chick lit'

'The frowsting bacchant kept his shelty vicinal.'

K9 Literati

2B or not 2B

"I'm looking for a book about turtles."

"Well, my new boyfriend likes to read. He's a bookie."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'Jurassic Pork.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Tequila Mockingbird

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"I have such strong feelers for you."

Mystery of the Poets

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Note Book

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Beauty and the Baste

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Optometrist Humor

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

Bitter End

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'I think therefore I ham.'