Artful Punster Gifts

Prison Art - Bent Screw

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Jurassic Pork.'

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Note Book

Mystery of the Poets

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

2B or not 2B

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

Bitter End

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

"Norman is an island."

Lit. Exam. I carefully read "Ulysses," "Dubliners" and "Finnegans Wake," but I was kicked out by the teacher for calling the exam a "multiple-Joyce" test.

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, all we ask for Mr. Whitman is poetic justice."

Optometrist practical jokes

"Behold the geometry of pizza: square, circle and triangle."

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'