Artistic Punster Gifts

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

What's this? I asked you to draw Adam. Yes, he was the first in the human race.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Jurassic Pork.'

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Mystery of the Poets

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Well yes, I'm kind of a farmer now: I farm salmon..."

Note Book

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

2B or not 2B

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

Optometrist Humor

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

Bitter End

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

"I'm not that kind of pro-Bono lawyer."

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Lit. Exam. I carefully read "Ulysses," "Dubliners" and "Finnegans Wake," but I was kicked out by the teacher for calling the exam a "multiple-Joyce" test.

"Norman is an island."

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'