Clever Punster Gifts

Gag t-shirt for Mensa members.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Jurassic Pork.'

K9 Literati

Dogs life

'Out, damned Spot.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Note Book

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

2B or not 2B

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

Bitter End

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Hamlet.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

Optometrist practical jokes

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

'To save the state the expense of a trial, I thought I'd run off to Spain.'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

Surfin' the web.