Playful Punster Gifts

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Mobile Holmes.

Surfin' the web.

"...18, 91, 20. Ready or not, here I come!"

"Heel."

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies

I never thought I'd say this, but it's great to see some fan interference.

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Boy says: 'A Shoe!' Girl Says: ' Bless you.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Keep Your End Up

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Jurassic Pork.'

Tree house.

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Note Book

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

Bitter End

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Hamlet.

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

"Behold the geometry of pizza: square, circle and triangle."

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'