Peaceful Punster Gifts

"Your lives will continue to stink until you find your center."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

Dogs life

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

''The consent of the governed'? -- that could be a deal-breaker.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Bitter End

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Hamlet.

'I think therefore I ham.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'To save the state the expense of a trial, I thought I'd run off to Spain.'

"Behold the geometry of pizza: square, circle and triangle."

Surfin' the web.

Mobile Holmes.

Late Night Buddha Call.

conversing using table tennis technology

"O.K., now can you make like a million little tiny ones?"

Timmy Gets Solitary.

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.