Casual Punster Gifts

'To save the state the expense of a trial, I thought I'd run off to Spain.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Note Book

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Hamlet.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

Surfin' the web.

Mobile Holmes.

conversing using table tennis technology

Lawyer Xing

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

"Your lives will continue to stink until you find your center."

'Well it was fine on the straight but when it hit the last curve the cartoonist lost his perspective!'

"I'm afraid you've got a serious case of polka dots."

Wash and Let My People Go

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."