Creative Punster Gifts

'It's a rabbit I got yesterday but I didn't know how to spell rabbit.'

'Jurassic Pork.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

Tequila Mockingbird

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Note Book

Mystery of the Poets

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

2B or not 2B

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

Optometrist Humor

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

Bitter End

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

Lit. Exam. I carefully read "Ulysses," "Dubliners" and "Finnegans Wake," but I was kicked out by the teacher for calling the exam a "multiple-Joyce" test.

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Hamlet.

"Norman is an island."

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.