Poetic Punster Gifts

Poetic Justice

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'Jurassic Pork.'

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Tequila Mockingbird

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"I have such strong feelers for you."

Mystery of the Poets

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Note Book

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

2B or not 2B

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Optometrist Humor

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Bitter End

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Lit. Exam. I carefully read "Ulysses," "Dubliners" and "Finnegans Wake," but I was kicked out by the teacher for calling the exam a "multiple-Joyce" test.

"Norman is an island."

'I think therefore I ham.'

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.