Playful Punter Gifts

Gambler And Umpire

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

World Cup Fever

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

Fan-Centric Stadium

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Vikings to the Super bowl.

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'

Hamlet.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'To save the state the expense of a trial, I thought I'd run off to Spain.'

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Surfin' the web.

Saloon Selectives

A Good Bet.

Mobile Holmes.

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

Timmy Gets Solitary.

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

"Don't waste your money,dearie-there's only one score draw next Saturday!"

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Dolphin at bar - 'I'm in disguise'

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies

'I bet I can tell you the score before the game starts. Nil-nil.'

'Oh, yes, he's patriotic alright - only uses the Red Lion, the White Hart and the Blue Boar!!'