Cheeky Punter Gifts

Man at the winnings collection point in the bookie's is asleep.

'Your shoe's untied.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

World Cup Fever

"We've invented a new word!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'

Hamlet.

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

A Good Bet.

Mobile Holmes.

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

Surfin' the web.

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

Timmy Gets Solitary.

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

5,- euro and I'll show you how to hustle 5,- Euro from a doofus!!"

'Do you think it takes 10p?'

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

'I bet I can tell you the score before the game starts. Nil-nil.'

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'