Psychology Punster Gifts

Psychologist Birthdays

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

Psychobabble.

Freud Met Santa...

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Can you give me some sort of metaphor for how you're feeling?"

"How long have you been suffering from anthropomorphism?"

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'I can't remember why I came here either.'

Vicar shouting in front of the altar: 'Altar Ego.'

Those four microwave dings you just heard indicate that dinner is ready, Lance. Hop to it! Unlike some individuals I know, I am not one of Pavlov's wolverines.

Ketchup stain … Mustard stain … BBQ stain …

Claude

Psychiatry. Your disorientation is number 2248 in my psychiatry manual. You mean my daze is numbered?

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Intelligent people laugh too!

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Sweep the board.

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."