Psychology Punster Pillows

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

Psychobabble.

Freud Met Santa...

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Can you give me some sort of metaphor for how you're feeling?"

"How long have you been suffering from anthropomorphism?"

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'I can't remember why I came here either.'

Vicar shouting in front of the altar: 'Altar Ego.'

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Intelligent people laugh too!

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

Sweep the board.

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Dogs life

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'