Punster Pillows

'Visit my website.'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

"Sometimes it's easier if you break the work up into little chunks."

"I see the radiator's Baroque again."

"Tell me the truth, doc! Give it to me straight, I can take it...."

"Don't freak out - it's just a save-the-date."

"Very good, John, but I asked you to design a new wind turbine."

"This next song's about pain."

"Well, I'll be darned. They had just walked away."

"A pod of attorneys to see you, sir!"

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

'It was a typo - I wrote, 'It was the best of the worst of times!''

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

'Because of my osteoporosis, my days of shooting from the hip are numbered.'

"You're cut out for this job."

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I told you that no good brother of yours would never amount to anything.'

"So,... Can I call you?"

'In selling stationery, Edwards, you'll never make it on letterhead alone. You really have to push the envelopes...'

Lost and Found: "Bone loss? You've come to the right place."

'I'm limping because I pulled a hamstring.'

Ein-Stein

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'That's not the way to plead!'

'Let's make a quick stop in Vegas and blame it on an unruly passenger.'

'I know it's just a metaphor but it discourages customers when you say you will try to 'squeeze' them in.'

"We think your one down - thats what's giving you a headache"

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

"Have you ever seen a cow slip under a hedge?"

"I'm thinking of going into sit up comedy."

Kamikaze Colour

'What fish make the best sandwich?' 'A peanut butter and jellyfish'

"I just can't sleep with this wrestler's leg syndrome."

'I tried to join the local rambling club - but the man on the phone just went on and on and on..."

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"