Mythical Punster Gifts

"I'm not surprised you're getting fat, Eve, it's all those apples you've been eating."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

Dogs life

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

"I have such strong feelers for you."

Veloci-Rapper

Note Book

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

Beauty and the Baste

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

2B or not 2B

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

Optometrist Humor

"Damn autocorrect!"

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'I'm calling my invention 'IPO'.'

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

'Evolution sounds good in theory, but what if we get overqualifed?'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

Dinosaurs of the Palindromic Era.

'It replaces all your small rocks with one convenient large one.'

The Flirtateous Period

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'