Visionary Punster Gifts

'Correct! And without looking. You really are the best optician in the country.'

Optometrist practical jokes

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'Jurassic Pork.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

Dogs life

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Note Book

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

2B or not 2B

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'I think therefore I ham.'

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

Surfin' the web.