Vision Punster Gifts

'Yes I can imagine it was frightening when you began seeing double.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Intelligent people laugh too!

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Sweep the board.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

I think you're ace

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Dogs life

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

Kamikaze Colour

'When she walks in she lights up the room...' 'It's living next to the nuclear plant.'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

Richard the Turd