Biblical Punster Gifts

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"All we have left is standing room only."

Dogs life

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

Tequila Mockingbird

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

2B or not 2B

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

Optometrist Humor

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

Optometrist practical jokes

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

'Blasphemous? Christ no!'

'The frowsting bacchant kept his shelty vicinal.'

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"