Spiritual Punster Pillows

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Jurassic Pork.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

Optometrist practical jokes

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

Surfin' the web.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'