Angelic Punster Pillows

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"All we have left is standing room only."

Dogs life

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"I have such strong feelers for you."

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

2B or not 2B

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Bitter End

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"Go ahead and touch my light. It's made of boyfriend material."

"My new boyfriend is a golfer. . .he's very good with his putter!"

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

Optometrist practical jokes

"Behold the geometry of pizza: square, circle and triangle."

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'