Prayerful Punster Pillows

'Dear Lord, for what we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful...'

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

"Well, you certainly were right about the power of prayer, dear!"

'Yes, you have to say a prayer of thanks for the shrimp. Just a little one.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"All we have left is standing room only."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

Surfin' the web.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies

My Day - Cow Today Magazine

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

"I don't get it. I've prayed to God to get rich just like the televangelist told me. but nothing happened."