Prayerful Punster Gifts

'Dear Lord, for what we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful...'

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

"Well, you certainly were right about the power of prayer, dear!"

'Yes, you have to say a prayer of thanks for the shrimp. Just a little one.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"All we have left is standing room only."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

Mobile Holmes.

Surfin' the web.

Timmy Gets Solitary.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

"Your lives will continue to stink until you find your center."

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'