Prayerful Punter Gifts

'I'm really quite religious. I pray every time I buy a lottery ticket.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

Vikings to the Super bowl.

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

Thanks God!

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

Saloon Selectives

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

Dolphin at bar - 'I'm in disguise'

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

'I bet I can tell you the score before the game starts. Nil-nil.'

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

My Day - Cow Today Magazine

"I don't get it. I've prayed to God to get rich just like the televangelist told me. but nothing happened."

Pray now - Go later.

'Yes, you have to say a prayer of thanks for the shrimp. Just a little one.'

'Twenty quid will be great, I'll give you it back on Thursday when I get my Giro.'

Gambler And Umpire

'The buck stops here'

"Lord, help the GOP reject missile reduction, hasrening the second coming and Armageddon!"

"Mind if I pray through?"

Donkey Fights

The last word in Alphabet Soup.