Prayer Punster Gifts

'Ditto.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"All we have left is standing room only."

Dogs life

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

"This is a very bad sign!"

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

"I don't get it. I've prayed to God to get rich just like the televangelist told me. but nothing happened."

'Yes, you have to say a prayer of thanks for the shrimp. Just a little one.'

Bureau of statistics and probability

My Day - Cow Today Magazine

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

'The service is over, Ed. You have to wake them up.'

'The buck stops here'

Sign above fire extinguisher case says, 'In Case of Fire and Brimstone Break Glass'.

Collection Discounts

"I think you just discovered a great visual metaphor for panic!"

'Apparently so. In the opinion of the Bishop, God would be filthy rich.'