Executive Funnies Gifts

'That's why we're vice-presidents, and he's president.'

"He likes it."

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

'The reorganisation is moving along. Here comes the new honcho now.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"This new policy of resisting change is certainly innovative."

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

'Our efficiency expert's only recommendation was to continue his contract.'

"Guess who's going to be on national television apologizing to the American public."

"On the plus side, you're on the cover of all the major business publications."

"No need to give me credit . . . I'll just take it."

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

"Thursday makes it ten years. What do you say we renew our merger vows."

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

I Have A Closed Mind.

'We'll wait until the ex-ceo's cigar smoke clears before beginning.'

"Not bad! ...For a duck."

Man at important looking desk lined with quill pens gets ready to shoot one at a dartboard on his wall.

"Our founder was a real joker. That's the first silver dollar he ever glued to the floor."

'Surround our project with lots of useless extras so our critics have something to pick at while we ram our proposals through.'

'Well, Higgins, today it's on you to do the most dangerous job here. You've got to feed the board of directors!'

"I'm sorry about your divorce, but you can't nest in the storeroom."

'Last week I offered to bring Bixby into the decision-making process, and he's still dithering about it!'

Executive Conkers.

'May I play through please?'

"I think it's important that we look at this holistically."

"Mr. Kendall would like to see one of those flashes of oddball humor."