Executive Humor Lovers Gifts

'Surround our project with lots of useless extras so our critics have something to pick at while we ram our proposals through.'

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

Water company bonus.

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'Here's the CEO - Chief Egotistical Official!'

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

CEO.

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

"We got the cactus account!"

"This new policy of resisting change is certainly innovative."

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

'I must be getting old. I remember when I could smell fear clear across the other side of the building.'

Mirror Solves Problem of Down Trend in Sales 'Problem solved, J.B.'

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

"Pardon my glove."

I Have A Closed Mind.

"Not bad! ...For a duck."

'He's a Drunk-With-Power drunk...the worst kind!'

"I'm under stress, Miss Gibson. Come in and bite my nails."

Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .

'Last week I offered to bring Bixby into the decision-making process, and he's still dithering about it!'

"I'm sorry about your divorce, but you can't nest in the storeroom."

'I appreciate the grovelling Whitworth, but don't lick my shoes - it ruins the leather!'

'That, sir - that dismissive little hand wave? It's way too Enron.'

'The reason we pay our CFO, Hargrove the big bucks is so we don't have to pay OTHERS the big bucks.'

"I always try to appear on the verge of a stress-induced breakdown. It's part of strong leadership."

"And let's remember that the public's need to know must always be balanced by our need to conceal."

"Catherine, Is there anything I need to be thinking about?"

"I've got a lot on my plate right now. For starters, I need to sharpen my pencil, refill my coffee and get a new comb."