Executive Humor Appreciator Gifts

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'Here's the CEO - Chief Egotistical Official!'

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

CEO.

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

"We got the cactus account!"

"This new policy of resisting change is certainly innovative."

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

'I must be getting old. I remember when I could smell fear clear across the other side of the building.'

Mirror Solves Problem of Down Trend in Sales 'Problem solved, J.B.'

"It appears they are in no hurry to start negotiating."

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

"Pardon my glove."

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

I Have A Closed Mind.

Could you be a little bit more specific than an 'arm and a leg'?

"Not bad! ...For a duck."

"Management think staff need to use their initiative more, and they forwarded a 65 page memo on how they want you to do it."

'He's a Drunk-With-Power drunk...the worst kind!'

'People, my son, the new VP in charge of pizza and beer!'

"I'm sorry about your divorce, but you can't nest in the storeroom."

Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .

'Last week I offered to bring Bixby into the decision-making process, and he's still dithering about it!'

'Surround our project with lots of useless extras so our critics have something to pick at while we ram our proposals through.'

'I appreciate the grovelling Whitworth, but don't lick my shoes - it ruins the leather!'

He's going to help us with our late payers' problem.

'The reason we pay our CFO, Hargrove the big bucks is so we don't have to pay OTHERS the big bucks.'