Executive Humor Aficionado Gifts

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

Water company bonus.

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

ANOTHER FINE MESS, INC.

'Here's the CEO - Chief Egotistical Official!'

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

CEO.

"Our initial public offering, .... The public has gotten wind of it!"

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

"We got the cactus account!"

"This new policy of resisting change is certainly innovative."

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

'I must be getting old. I remember when I could smell fear clear across the other side of the building.'

"Pardon my glove."

Mirror Solves Problem of Down Trend in Sales 'Problem solved, J.B.'

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

Religious Beliefs of Corporations

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

"I know there are people who look like their pets, but..."

I Have A Closed Mind.

"Not bad! ...For a duck."

'He's particularly sensitive to criticism that the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.'

'He's a Drunk-With-Power drunk...the worst kind!'

'This can't be! Company policy strictly forbids quarterly loses.'

"Wonderful. Another consultant telling us that the key to success in business is to follow our instincts. Wake me when it's over!"