Executive Satire Lover Gifts

"I need you to take over while I'm on the road to fuller, thicker hair."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Lethal Presentation

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"We have an acronym!"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"It lost a little something in translation."

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'I treat everyone here the same as my family. . . like s**t.'

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

'I think it is our duty to fully-experience the excess profits.'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

Miniature Design Shop: Think Small.