Quirky Leader T-Shirts

"Would someone dim the lights? I'm about to launch into the paranoid and conspiratorial portion of my report."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Victorian Gentleman

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

'I just had this sudden urge to stand out in a crowd...'.

Joint Ventures!

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

Real Estate Personals

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Cat Boss

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

"I beg to differ."

"Good to have you aboard. Now, let's meet some of the oddballs weirdos and eccentrics you'll be working with."

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

"No more Dr Nice guy"