Sneaker Seeker Gifts

'You're taller than I expected.' - 'I'm standing on my blisters.'

Ancient Racing

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Honest Vending

Bob's Driving School.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

A caterpillar is rowing itself along

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

Computer Controlled Car

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Student Food Pyramid

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

Cow outboard engine

"It's a map to the vending machines."

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"You complete me."

You shouldn't sell any chemical lawn products, dad! I only carry a few for the bottom line. You peddle poison for profits? The new sneakers you want aren't cheap, kiddo. Then I won't get the shoes. Ok, ok. I'll consider getting rid of the chemicals. Who knew reducing my carbon footprint meant going without shoes.