Sneaker Sleuth Gifts

'You've been hanging out at the bowling alley again, haven't you?'

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

Those missing socks...where do they go?

The Complete Cycle.

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

'Dog got your clog?'

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

Man says his pockets aren't big enough to fit a lady's tennis shoes.

'This assignment calls for a chicken.'

Ballet shoes balancing on a telephone wire

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"Of course, ladies and gentlemen, the optimum endorsement would be from the Crips and the Bloods."

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'

"This was no accident, Sarge! He was intentionally DROPPED!"

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

'Shall I box up the shoes, or does your son want to fly them home?'

Auditing

'Something comfortable and yet… unexpected. I like to run amok.'

"I want a pair which says 'fast' even if I'm goin' slow."

'- but I didn't think it meant a two-made-into one-suit, dammit!'

One of the pyramids of giza has had its top stolen!

"There are our running shoes and these are our running shoes for running."

'It's a surveillance camera. Now, I'll finally be able to find out how all the socks keep disappearing.'

Snail Shoes