Sneaker Sleuth T-Shirts

"Psst. . . fancy shoe sales are down. Can you make Crocs instead?"

'You've been hanging out at the bowling alley again, haven't you?'

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

Those missing socks...where do they go?

You shouldn't sell any chemical lawn products, dad! I only carry a few for the bottom line. You peddle poison for profits? The new sneakers you want aren't cheap, kiddo. Then I won't get the shoes. Ok, ok. I'll consider getting rid of the chemicals. Who knew reducing my carbon footprint meant going without shoes.

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

The Complete Cycle.

'Dog got your clog?'

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

'This assignment calls for a chicken.'

Man says his pockets aren't big enough to fit a lady's tennis shoes.

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

Ballet shoes balancing on a telephone wire

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"This was no accident, Sarge! He was intentionally DROPPED!"

'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'Shall I box up the shoes, or does your son want to fly them home?'

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

"Of course, ladies and gentlemen, the optimum endorsement would be from the Crips and the Bloods."

Auditing

'Something comfortable and yet… unexpected. I like to run amok.'

'Would our taxes be any cheaper if we lived in a sketcher?'

'- but I didn't think it meant a two-made-into one-suit, dammit!'

"I want a pair which says 'fast' even if I'm goin' slow."

"There are our running shoes and these are our running shoes for running."